12:53am secrets and small shoulders
by silent-entrance
Summary: so she said 'hey kit-kat' because if cat could act like nothing had changed then so could she. in which jade notices.


First time writing Victorious, probably got it completely wrong but whoops. All lowercase because lowercase letters are pretty, so completely on purpose. Cat is so sweet. Not mine. Enjoy.

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so, girl meets girl. actually, girl met girl years ago but it isn't until Sikowitz burst into the classroom announcing that sometimes actors ("or actresses," Tori Vega adds brightly, shining like the fucking star she is) need to do things they're not always comfortable with so turn to the person next to you and tell them that you love them that she really _meets _her, in all of her vague, red-headed glory.

so Jade West tells Cat Valentine to 'go fuck herself' and is a tiny bit happy that she looks sad, because that's what Jade West does, she breaks things. She breaks plates on her kitchen bench because she knows she shouldn't be eating if she wants to be a (Tori Vega) _star,_ she breaks Beck Oliver's heart every now and then, just to remind him who is in control. and mostly she breaks people, because it's so fucking easy and in a twisted way, it makes her feel together.

but for some reason, Cat Valentine is different. because after class Jade buys her a coffee and slings an arm over her tiny shoulders, which is as close as she's ever gotten to giving an apology. and Cat Valentine smiles that Cat smile and pulls the end of Jades pony tail and offers her a sip of her coffee and Jade knows she's been forgiven, which is always weird because _she _doesn't forgive people. and she wants to sit Cat down and talk some sense into her, tell her to stop being so naïve and forgiving because one day she's going to get hurt and a Cat smile is really the only thing consistent in her life. but she doesn't, because she knows that behind the huge smiles and bright hair and tiny pills lined up like a rainbow on her bathroom sink, Cat Valentine is strong, and knows _exactly _what that is supposed to mean.

(that night, Jade West decides to add Cat Valentine and her tiny shoulders to her list of 'things which are too good for me.')

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the first time Beck Oliver breaks Jade West's heart, all that she can think is 'Tori Vega deserves him more' and really, this has been a long time coming. she wants to feel angry or upset or anything other than relief, but she doesn't, so after letting out a few tears which are nothing but salt and water and years of practising in front of a mirror (she is an actress, after all, and the show must always go on) she shrugs her shoulders and turns back around. as she walks back to her car she thinks about getting drunk before deciding she'd rather not waste the alcohol hidden in a bag under her bed on something as stupid as Beck Oliver and his stupid hair which needs a haircut screwing stupid Tori Vega who needs to get hit by a bus, immediately.

so instead she wipes off some of her lipstick ("you don't need it, Jadey," her tiny voice would giggle as her tiny fingers would rub the red stains off. her tiny fingers attached to her tiny hands attached to her tiny wrists which eventually lead to those tiny shoulders which are too good for Jade West) and gets into her car and turns the key in the ignition and before she knows it she's parked outside of a house which she doesn't remember driving too. and her phone is dead and it's the middle of the night so instead of waking up the whole family (even the bitches have their moments) she walks around the back of the one story house to the window she knows will be open, and she quietly climbs in, her feet landing on the soft carpet and-

"hey, Jade," Cat Valentine says, far too casually considering Jade West just climbed through her bedroom window at 12:53 on a Saturday morning.

"hey, Kit-Kat," Jade answers, because if Cat can act like nothing has changed then so can she. so when Cat Valentine moves over in her bed, lifting one side of the bright blue doona cover like this isn't something weird, (which, in a way, it isn't) Jade West doesn't hesitate in unlacing her Doc Martins and unwinding the silver chains from around her wrists, placing them on the small table next to the bed. and when she has stepped out of her army jacket and black skinny jeans, she is left cold and in nothing but black underwear and a black singlet, feeling young and stupid and vulnerable. but then she falls into the space next to Cat Valentine, and there is a small arm wrapped around her waist, and the skin between the end of her shirt and the beginning of her underwear has goosebumps from the contact, and suddenly she realizes that she was sad before but now she's not.

(she feels more protected half-naked wrapped up in the tiniest girl she's ever met than when she's wearing her 'don't mess with me' scowl and black eyeliner and ripped tights and leather jackets, which is sort of completely fucking backwards when you think about it.)

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she slips out the window before Cat Valentine wakes up in the morning, kissing her softly on the cheek before she leaves because when no one is around she can be a good person. and she keeps walking and gets into her car and runs her fingers through her hair without looking back, because running away is what she does when breaking doesn't work.

but Cat catches up to her at school and slips one of her tiny hands into her own, and Jade West doesn't pull away because she's sort of tired of running.

and when she sees Tori Vega throwing her (long hair long legs red lips perfect _skanky_) self at her (ex?) boyfriend, she doesn't mind as much as she thought she would have because Cat Valentine snorts in that completely Cat Valentine way and mutters under her breath, 'slut', which makes Jade West laugh in that way that only Cat Valentine can make her do, because she always gets a thrill out of the bitchy side of Cat. especially when she is holding her hand.

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Jade West isn't sure what they're 'doing,' but Cat's always hated labels anyway.


End file.
